Women of the Way

Becoming Passionate, Devoted Followers of Christ

On the Outside of the Circle

She sat across the table from me. She didn’t say a word.

We were a bunch of women who  attended a workshop together, so the hotel restaurant seated us at one table. Some ladies knew each other and chatted away about this and that. Most of us were strangers. I knew a couple of ladies on my left and spoke to them occasionally, but mostly, I watched the others around me.

I watched to see if any of the other ladies would strike up a conversation with the woman seated across from me.  I thought that maybe I should talk to her. But, I was stubborn. I was grumpy for being at this particular restaurant. I had wanted to go someplace else, but for the sake of the group, I went with what they wanted. I selfishly thought “I always talk first, let somebody else talk, why doesn’t someone talk to me??” (Yes, there was a little pity party going in my head) So, I sat there, ate my chicken, and observed.

She waited for her food, ate her hamburger in silence, and left.

I was saddened that no one around that table said a word to this woman. She wasn’t included in any of their conversations. Then again, I was guilty too. I didn’t say a word to her either:/

greyscale photography of woman wearing long sleeved top

Photo by Kat Jayne on Pexels.com

Why is it we stay in our groups and keep to ourselves? Why is it so hard to widen our circles just a bit to include someone sitting just on the outside? Why is it we sit at the table and just talk to the people we know? At work? At a restaurant? At church??

Maybe some of you are better at it than I. Maybe you don’t let these opportunities walk away like I did. Maybe I’m a little sensitive to this subject.

Oh I know…some of us are shyer than others, and some of us are more outgoing. I have to admit that it’s hard for me to open up with a new person until I feel comfortable with her.

But, I’ve been on the other side too. I’ve sat on the outside waiting for someone to talk to me. I’ve been the newcomer awkwardly hoping to get in on the conversation.

It’s not enjoyable. So, maybe that’s why I notice it.

outside

So, I’m trying to be better. I am trying to include the newbie, notice the one off to herself, and reach out to make that connection. I’m not going to let a woman walk away without saying something to her anymore.

I’m trying to be a Cheerleader.

It doesn’t come naturally to me, but I’m trying. I’m trying to be better because relationships, friendships and connections are the silver and gold, the real stuff that matters. Eternal.

As life is getting back to normal and the quarantine if over, we’re going to be delighted to meet up with friends and get with our besties and join our favorite small groups.

But, what are we going to do to include those on the outside of the circle?

We need to get to know the ones on the fringes. We need to include the ones who don’t have a place or don’t how to jump in with us!

So, let’s do something  fun!

Would you join me in the WoW Encouragement Challenge?

Call, text, or video chat someone. Write a note or send a card. Post something on Facebook. Whatever you can think of, and then, share it on the Women of the Way TN page. Show me what you’re doing to encourage someone.

And….don’t just encourage the friends you would normally talk to anyway. No! Find friends, relatives, and co-workers that you don’t see often or rarely talk to them. Get creative! Don’t spend any money (unless you just want to). Just be thoughtful and encouraging!

We’re doing this challenge for the rest of May!

EncouragementChallenge

As life is getting back to normal and the quarantine if over, we’re going to be delighted to meet up with friends and get with our besties and join our favorite small groups.

But, what are we going to do to include those on the outside of the circle?

We need to get to know the ones on the fringes. We need to include the ones who don’t have a place or don’t how to jump in with us!

Let’s just don’t get back to normal. Let’s set a new normal where we make sure everyone feels connected and included!

Join  me for the Wow Encouragement Challenge! Share your encouragement on the WoW Facebook page!

~Amy

 

Categories: Devoted Life, Followers of Christ

Tags: , , , ,

11 replies

  1. Thanks for this.Yes, I’ve recently been the one on the outside of the circle , so I hope to be more aware and reach out the next time I’m on the inside.

  2. What a great post! I will be more observant in the future to make sure that all are included in conversation.
    Shelia @ House of Highlands

  3. Great story, Amy. I’ve been there on both sides and neither place is a satisfying place. I tend to be shy so I have to be prepared in advance to have a conversation opener in my head!

  4. Reblogged this on Women of the Way and commented:

    If you see someone outside the circle….pull her in!

  5. Unfortunately I happen to be just the opposite. I say ‘unfortunately’ because it seems to be impolite to just start talking when you’re not ‘invited’. When I notice someone being ignored, I say something to them. That’s good, but then I take up ALL their time! That’s bad!and before long, they know just about ALL my history! If I am the one on the ‘outside’ I introduce myself and mention where I’m from. Usually that gets the ball rolling!

  6. I can relate to this, Amy! It’s so easy to talk to the ones we know and not have to step out of our comfort zone. I’ve been trying lately to do better, but I’ve still got a long way to go.

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